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Do fries go with that nomination?

Isn't it Alanis Morissette that Harvey Wonka-stein and his merry band of Oompa Loompas have been the chunky masterminds behind this, The Year Of The Anorexic Oscar!

Hadn't you noticed? Renee Zellweger as a pubescent boy in Chicago, Daniel Day Lewis as a Dr. Seuss character on stilts in Gangs of New York, Ed Harris looking suicidally thin in The Hours (though the rail thin Alison Janney and Claire Danes look fabulous in skin and bones), Adrien Brody as The Pianist Who Could Slide Under A Door In A Crunch and of course, Gollum in Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers.

There are some chunky monkeys in the Best Picture candidates. But for every munchie-maniacal Samwise Ganja there is a giant skinny beard on a stick. Brendan Gleeson gets it in the back, so he won't hurt himself when he falls on his big belly. And Toni Collette is so ripe in her 50s get up in The Hours that she looks like she's going to explode into a giant smoothie.

But look at the movies that did not get nominated. About Schmidt featured Kathy Bates in her gloriously feminine entirety. Michael Moore was a Bowling Ball For Columbine. Ray Liotta put on a few pounds for Narc and shed an Oscar nomination. Alfred Molina ate too much mole for Academy voters. One of the first lines of Adaptation is Charlie Kaufman complaining about being too fat! I won't even write about My Big FAT Greek Wedding.

Move over NAACP! Get out of the way, Latin Defamation League! AMPAS hates fat people! Say it loud! Say it proud!

Okay... I'll wait. Can I have some of that?

Have you seen the poster for How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days? Those two look like a ladder!

That's what Hollywood is all about. Skinny, skinny, skinny!

Behind the scenes, there are the sumo producers from the east coast, Harvey Weinstein and Scott Rudin, bumping bellies for the big prize. No wonder Roman Polanski is afraid to come back to Los Angeles. They might crush him and not even notice!

I need a sandwich!

Ciao for Niao!