..Gary Dretzka
..Noah Forrest
..Leonard Klady
..R.J. Matson
..David Poland
..Douglas Pratt
..Ray Pride
..Michael Wilmington

If it weren’t for the blackout that darkened much of Los Angeles earlier in the day, it would have been difficult to differentiate this one particular Monday in September from any other day of the week along Hollywood Boulevard.

Tourists strolled the Walk of Fame, stopping occasionally to take a snapshot of the embedded plaque of a familiar star, peruse the T-shirts and postcards in a souvenir shop, or stare at the window displays of Frederick’s of Hollywood. When they weren’t impersonating Charlie Chaplin or Elvis Presley, the boulevard’s regular habitués studied the rubes in a predatory silence, weighing the potential rewards of a lightning-swift purse-snatching against having to run a gauntlet of kamikaze skate-boarders, pissed-off cops and the occasional Good Samaritan.

The sky-raking rays of klieg lights are such a common sight in this part of town that no one can know for sure if they’re heralding the fab premiere of a Hollywood blockbuster, or the opening of a new fast-food restaurant. Either way, traffic is going to be murder.

This Monday night’s excuse for a party was, in fact, the imminent debut of a big-budget movie.

The klieg lights are stationed outside courtyard of the landmark Egyptian Theater, which, almost 83 years earlier, had hosted the lavish premieres of Robin Hood and The Ten Commandments. As then, limousines delivered their prized passengers to within a short step of a red carpet that led past anxious fans, preening wanna-bes and a reviewing platform reserved for the press.

For those who believe there are no coincidences in life -- that the assassination of John F. Kennedy, for instance, actually was mandated by the fact that his secretary was named Lincoln, and Abraham Lincoln’s secretary was named Kennedy -- the night’s festivities were rife with omens of pre-ordained connectivity. Bear with me:

The movie being feted was Pirates, a rip-roaring period adventure that promised plenty of swashbuckling action, roguish behavior and close-contact swordplay … just like Robin Hood, the film that inaugurated the venue. In 1926, the star of Robin Hood, Douglas Fairbanks, would be the featured player in The Black Pirate. Another swashbuckling actor, Errol Flynn, not only would play Robin Hood, but also the pirate heroes in Captain Blood and The Sea Hawk. Fairbanks and Flynn, like all of the male actors in Pirates, were famous for their swordsmanship, and had portrayed characters inspired by Byron’s literary stud, Don Juan.

Spooky, huh? You bet.

Admittedly, though, beyond this rather tenuous thread of coincidences, there is very little in Digital Playground‘s latest adult blockbuster that possibly could remind anyone of the Egyptian’s earliest marquee attractions. Nonetheless, on this Monday night in September, the organizers of the premiere bore the weight of history on their corseted backs.
Not only was this the first premiere of a hard-core feature to be staged at the Egyptian Theater -- or, for that matter, any of the other historic movie palaces along Hollywood Boulevard -- but it also was the first porno feature to be so feted in anyone’s memory. In addition to reporters and photographers from adult-industry trades, the event drew media coverage from Variety, the Los Angeles Times, E! Entertainment, the Playboy Channel and local paparazzi. Crews from Extra and Inside edition had responded positively to requests for coverage, but begged off after the city-wide power outage.

The stars of the film strode the red carpet with all the confidence and composure of any actor at any premiere, and, while the male guests tended not to go with a couture look, the women were dressed in fashions no photographer could ignore. Porno-chic being the look of the moment among Hollywood scene-makers, the clothes chosen by these “industry types” would have been appropriate at most parties, benefits and proms staged anywhere west of Pasadena.

While the invited guests mingled among the palms in the spacious courtyard -- or ducked into the similarly historic Pig ’N Whistle, next-door -- a costumed combo played shanties and pirate songs, fire-breathers turned themselves into human flame-throwers and famished fans could partake in the open bar and free popcorn. Gift bags would be handed out after the screening, along with kudos, air-kisses and talk of award nominations … in this case, of the AVN variety.

In one way, at least, the timing of the premiere couldn’t have been more ironic (and/or coincidental, depending on one’s grammatical fixations), as it would coincide with the release of the expanded DVD edition of Fenton Bailey and Randy Barbato’s Inside Deep Throat. In that much-admired documentary study of the 1972 sensation, several of those interviewed recalled their then-held belief that Hollywood executives and producers of XXX titles would soon merge their talents and resources to serve newly enlightened audiences. Deep Throat had proven how much money was on the table, and Hollywood clearly was salivating at the opportunity to cash in on the windfall.

After a couple of tentative forays into the gray area between XXX and X -- the harshest MPAA rating, until the arrival of NC-17, in 1990 -- the studios crossed their legs and refused to go all the way. Thus snubbed, the adult industry and its network of underworld distributors were in a perfect position to exploit the promise of the fledgling VCR revolution, which Hollywood also had yet to embrace.

By the time Hollywood got religion, and started profiting from videos, the adult industry had pretty much had abandoned any semblance of story-telling and was preparing to go “gonzo.” These shot-on-video titles offered all-sex, all-the-time, with no fetish or orifice left un-explored. As sleazy as the products became, however, there was no putting the genie -- or Jenna -- back into the bottle.

Gentleman’s clubs emerged as white-collar strip joints, and phone-sex profits introduced Ma Bell stockholders to the pimpin’ game. For years, the adult industry was the only enterprise to benefit financially from the Internet, while mainstream made do with sex-centric shows on premium cable, the beatification of porno superstars on radio and TV talk shows, the promotion of barely there fashions among teens and young women, and marketing campaigns that employed soft-core imagery to boost sales for mainstream products.

The annual Adult Entertainment Expo, in Las Vegas, grew from CES sideshow to main event, after the easily titillated media began assigning camera crews to cover the carefully choreographed debauchery. And, why not? The AEE and AVN awards show were a lot more fun to cover than, say, the political conventions, and they provided the kind of sexy footage needed to tease local news shows during sweeps periods.

As DVD hardware and software overtook VHS as the format of choice, the adult industry was there to redefine the technology’s potential. Well before Hollywood found the key to DVD riches, producers of adult titles found uses for the extra digital space in the form of deleted and alternate scenes, promos for new and classic movies, interactive links to Internet sites and, yes, even commentary.

The Hollywood studios, DVD distributors and appliance manufacturers can’t put their greedy instincts aside long enough to agree on a single high-definition DVD format. Instead of twiddling their thumbs, like most everyone else in the entertainment industry, a few ambitious adult-oriented companies have decided to mount an offensive from their Valley strongholds.

Digital Playground’s 129-minute-long Pirates not only was shot and edited entirely in HD, but it also will become available this week in a three-disc DVD package that offers both standard and WMV-HD DVD formats (for Windows Media users). The hi-res images fit a 16:9 wide-screen format, and the bonus features include bloopers, a casting session, photo gallery, audio commentary, bios, trailers and other making-of segments. Even if no component DVD player exists to play the HD-DVD version of the film, it works fine on any 2.5 GHz PC or WMV-HD player.

Less a parody of Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean than a sexy homage to the sub-genre, Pirates follows by a year the release of the same company’s Island Fever 3, the first adult title to be shot, edited and delivered entirely in the HD format, via the Internet or a bonus HD-DVD disc (at no extra charge). Island Fever 3 hit the top of the adult best-seller lists as both a HD and VHS product, as did both of its prequels.

Early buzz on Pirates has already made it the No. 1 pre-ordered title of all time for the retail cyberstore, Adult DVD Empire, and put it among the top five titles on the site’s current bestsellers’ list. And, this at a retail price of $49.95.

Digital Playground founder Joone was the director, writer and producer of Pirates, as well as the Virtual Sex and Island Fantasy series. His pictures have won virtually every AVN award worth owning (or acknowledging), including three straight for Best Interactive DVD.

Joone was still in an expansive mood, days after the screening. Seeing Pirates on the very big screen, with an enthusiastic audience, gave him exactly the lift he needed for the upcoming nationwide publicity campaign, during which he’ll receive a great deal less attention than sexy stars Carmen Luvana and Jesse Jane.

The personable blond bombshell, Jane, is rapidly becoming a mainstream media star. Named "Miss Photogenic" at the 2002 American Dreams pageant, the Fort Worth native was a featured player in Showtime’s Family Business and HBO’s Entourage (along with fellow Pirates co-stars Teagan Presley and Devon), and she made an un-credited appearance in Baywatch: Hawaiian Wedding.

“I’m pleased because the audience cheered and laughed at all the right moments,” said Joone, whose contract players will appear on Howard Stern’s radio show on October 7, thus guaranteeing another spike in sales the next day. “You don’t get that kind of feedback in the editing room.”

In his Los Angeles Times column, Joel Stein observed, “For the first 20 minutes, the very young, exceedingly tattooed audience kept yelling back, Rocky Horror-style, at the screen. They also enjoyed clapping wildly at the climax of each scene. The audience members not only weren't squirming, they were bored. An hour in, the yelling and cheering died off and everyone felt fast-forward-deprived. … Remember when they made the mistake of super-sizing Friends into 40-minute sitcom episodes? Imagine that in porn time.”

Stein loves to drop these sorts of unsubstantiated generalizations and snarky pop-culture references into his columns. Typically, though, its done to affect a pose, whether it’s Everynerd in Babylon or his usual too-hip-for-the-room persona.

Actually, most people in the nearly filled Egyptian auditorium stayed the distance, coming and going as they pleased (the smart ones claimed their gift bags early, then returned to their seats). Viewers may not have been as animated throughout the entire length of Joone’s epic, as they were in the first 20 minutes, but each succeeding climax prompted a rousing ovation, with the final furious girl-girl scenes eliciting an extremely enthusiastic response. The early-exit ratio wasn’t noticeably different than that at a premiere for a movie starring a Saturday Night Live alumnus.

Left unsaid in Stein’s column were four rather important considerations: 1) the impertinence of Digital Playground to stage a gala premiere in the belly of the beast, in effect declaring victory in the battle for digital supremacy; 2) DP’s borrowing from Disney the conceit of throwing premieres for straight-to-DVD films, which may enjoy a single theatrical screening, before being shipped to retail outlets, 3) Pirates may have been the only XXX picture made in the last 15 years with a storyline coherent enough to command 129 minutes of anyone’s attention; and 4) the company’s willingness to afford the time and money for location shoots in Florida and California, 300 special-effects shots, an army of CGI skeletons (like those in Pirates of the Caribbean) and five months of post-production, is a formidable competitor.

“Digital Playground isn’t a porn company, it’s an entertainment company,” Joone asserts, when asked if he might considering taking his digital expertise in a different direction someday. “Hollywood has been a stifling arena, and we’re in a unique position in that we can make movies Hollywood won’t touch.”

Neither have Joone’s accomplishments gone unnoticed among mainstream filmmakers and producers. He’s exchanged e-mails with directors who’ve read or heard about his hi-def work, and want to learn more about the digital process.

As a cheerleader for digital cinema, Joone would fit easily on any dais with such vocal advocates as George Lucas, James Cameron and Robert Rodriguez. Indeed, visitors to the Digital Playground site are encouraged to download previews of upcoming features in hi-def, a broadband process that requires no small financial commitment on DP’s part.

“When digital projection came along, it was like a door opening up for me,” Joone said. “It allowed me to shoot everything digitally, and I didn’t have to go to the labs to see what I had. The camera becomes more transparent … I could show the scenes to the actors immediately after a take, and it would get them inspired and more confident about what they were doing.

“Being able to get 20 to 30 takes for far less money, resulted in better performances. I’m amazed at where we are with digital projectors, and, Pirates was projected off a DVD.

“Everything else is becoming more affordable and accessible for filmmakers.”

Meanwhile, though, the exhibition business remains mired in questions over who will pay for the conversion to digital. The stalemate helps explain why DVD owners will benefit first from advances in the medium, and theater owners may be the ultimate losers.

For actors, too, HD can be an unforgiving medium. Just thought of watching herself perform on the big screen brought fear to the doe eyes of Jane, who knew that when she wasn’t dressed as a pirate in the movie, chances are she was completely nude.

“Everything is exaggerated,” she cautioned. “A blemish can looks huge, and it’s impossible to disguise bumps and bruises with makeup, because the makeup stands out, as well. You have to be very careful.”

Indeed, HD can turn every zit into a volcano and pores into craters. To achieve a more blended, natural look, Joone’s makeup artist used a spray applicator.

As anyone with access to HDTV will attest, watching sexual calisthenics in a hi-res theatrical setting -- up close and really personal -- can be a daunting proposition. Lit well, these hyper-realistic depictions of people making love can either be extremely moving, or as subtle as a performance by the sledgehammer-wielding comedian, Gallagher.

Suffice it to say that most wet and shimmering substances -- breaking waves, showers, lip gloss, blood, sweat, tears and other bodily excretions -- take on a life of their own in HD. Just imagine what a 3-D porno might look like in a high-res theatrical presentation, or, better yet, a large-format venue.

If John Holmes were still alive, the temptation might be too great for Hollywood to ignore: King Kong vs. Johnny Wadd in IMAX 3-D. The mind boggles.

September 27 , 2005
- Gary Dretzka