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..Gary Dretzka
..Noah Forrest
..Leonard Klady
..R.J. Matson
..David Poland
..Douglas Pratt
..Ray Pride
..Michael Wilmington

Some marriages are made in heaven. Others are made in the executive suites overlooking Madison Avenue.

When Coors Brewing Co. and Miramax Films agreed to form a marketing alliance last year, the ties that bind stretched from the foothills of the Rockies to Tribeca. Several weeks ago, a rather large child of that marriage began showing up in the homes of millions of football fans across the country, in the form of a commercial simultaneously promoting Scary Movie 3 and Coors Light beer.

Representing one side of the family was Good Time Charlie Sheen, while the other side's attributes could be seen in the blond-bombshell Coors Light Twins. Some DNA, huh?

Scenes from Scary Movie 3 were added to the the brewery's hedonistic Love Songs commercial jingle, alongside familiar odes to various forms of junk food, contact sports and cheerleaders. When I first stumbled upon it, one Sunday afternoon in September, I had a hard time differentiating the beer ad from the movie preview. Since Dimension's Scary Movie franchise freely lampoons all manner of pop-cultural icons, it seemed likely that a commercial for it might use the twins -- and, of course, their breasts -- as a springboard for parody. It took me about 30 seconds to figure out that the spot was, in fact, a clever cross-promotion for both products.

Duh.

Sheen, a.k.a. Playboy of the Western World, was a natural inspiration for increased sales of Coors' low-calorie label, and Diane and Elaine Klimaszewski's presence in Scary Movie 3 wouldn't hurt opening-weekend ticket purchases. The ad would be repeated dozens of times before being replaced, last week, by a Coors spot featuring the bastard son of former NFL commissioner Pete Rozell, Kid Rock.

If any movie could hold its own among slobbering sports fans and bouncing breasts, it would Scary Movie 3. Despite its suggestive title, the subtleties of a film like In the Bedroom probably would have gotten lost in the beer-soaked mayhem.

Last summer, cross-promotions between various automobile manufacturers and Hollywood studios were all the rage. The Mini Coopers in The Italian Job, Cadillacs in The Matrix Reloaded, Jeep Wranglers in Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life played as important a role in those pictures as BMW had in the last couple of Bond flicks. And, of course, the car companies weren't shy about promoting the connection (although Cadillac felt that Warner Bros. reneged on a commitment to cross-promote its sporty CTS sedan and Escalade EXT). Many reporters, myself included, found this marketing-trend story to be far more interesting than the usual pabulum they're fed by studios during junkets.

Because Coors Light's Love Song jingle was rewritten to accommodate Scary Movie 3, however, it seemed to me that the ante was being raised in the high-stakes game of movie marketing. If nothing else, it was worth noting how far we've come since Reese's Pieces brought the practice of strategic product-placement to the attention of mainstream audiences. Or, was I merely imagining an escalation in the marketing wars?

"No, it is unique," assured a spokeswoman for Colorado-based Coors Brewing. "One year ago, we signed on as the official beer of Miramax. As such, Coors products will be the exclusive malt beverage served at Miramax events, and there will be at least five films each year -- for the next several years -- in which our brands are placed."

Coors and Coors Light are no strangers to cross-promotion campaigns and product placement in movies and television shows. In 1977, a truck smuggling cases of the then-regional brand was at the center of the drama of Smokey and the Bandit. Coors Light also was a chief sponsor of this summer's reality-based hit, The Restaurant, on NBC.

Coors' Love Songs campaign, which introduced the twin cheerleaders to the world of addled laddies, was an immediate success. Even though several critics raised a rumpus over what they perceived to be an overly boorish message, the public rewarded the brewery (and, by reflection, the advertising firm of Foote Cone & Belding) with an immediate 1.2 percent increase in sales. The twins started representing Coors at conventions and sporting events, even agreeing to sing the National Anthem at Patriots games and NASCAR races. They've already shot four Coors Light commercials, with at least one more on the way.

It's been reported that Ron Askew, marketing chief for Coors, had asked the Chicago-based advertising company to create an "anthem for what guys really like." As FCB's group creative director, Chuck Rudnick, told USA Today last spring: "Nobody would argue men love women, so why not two of them? That's why twins ring so true."

Countered Shari Waxman, a Salon.com columnist: "Though the musical odes to stuff guys love -- 'two-hand touch,' 'short skirts,' 'burritos at 4 a.m.' -- played during the commercials are clever, credit for the campaign's success goes to Diane and Elaine Klimaszewski. ... Twin sisters whose four blue eyes seem always to be saying, 'Hey boys, anyone up for a three-way?' Sisters in a three-way? Gross."

To each his own, I say.

The twins' sudden rise to prominence explains why they seem to fit so well next to Sheen in an advertisement for Scary Movie 3. By all accounts, Jerry Zucker's comedy takes on everything from Pamela Anderson's infamous sex video, to crop circles and Michael Jackson. Fact is, though, Coors and Miramax already were in bed, long before the blonds from Boston were introduced to football fans last winter.

"We have an alliance with the Coors brewery, and as part of that alliance they're privy to our development slate," explained Lori Sale, executive vice president of worldwide promotions for Miramax Films. "When Scary Movie 3 came along, we both thought it was a great opportunity for us to work with Coors at a more creative and organic level. Instead of merely putting Coors products in our movies, as we normally do, Scary Movie 3 actually gave us an opportunity to place Coors' spokes-twins in it.

"The whole movie is a parody of popular culture, and we were able to have some fun with the Coors Light commercial. There's a prominent scene in the movie, in which the Coors Twins provide the payoff."

Coors also serves as a sponsor all Miramax premieres, and is, Sale agrees, the company's "official beer."

"Lots of studios work with different brands on a film-by-film basis," she continues. "We do so many films each year, however, rather than re-invent the wheel every time, we decided to start with a blank page with Coors. When we learned that Coors wanted to get involved in Hollywood, we sat down with them to find out how many different ways we could work together.

"Many of the scenes in our movies are celebratory, and take place in a bar, restaurant or party. That's where Coors products fit in most naturally."

If Coors Light doesn't quite complement the tone of a particular movie, its producers can choose among such related products as Coors Original, Zima, Keystone, Blue Moon and Killian's Red. If none of these brands is suitable, the director is then welcome to invent a fictitious brand, logo and signage. No actual non-Coors products can be promoted, however.

The vetting process generally takes place several months before production begins.

"Both sides look at the scripts critically," Sale adds. "We need to make sure that it's an appropriate film, meaning that it will appeal to a 21-plus consumer and the placement wouldn't have any negative connotations. If, for instance, one of the characters in a movie is a raging alcoholic, it probably wouldn't be a good idea to place a Coors brand in it.

"And, films that are aimed at children don't even get considered."

In The Restaurant, plugs for Coors Light were splashed throughout the mini-series. Although it was described as being an un-scripted drama, someone behind the cameras of The Restaurant made sure viewers knew that the production was backed by American Express, Mitsubishi and Coors Light.

In addition to Coors' network ad campaign for Scary Movie 3, Miramax hopes to benefit from the company's reach in the retail sector.

"It's in a lot of places that we aren't," says Sale. "For instance, they're promoting Scary Movie 3 in their point-of-sale materials in grocery and convenience stores. That's great for us because it's not space we could afford to buy. So, the campaign is very integrated.

"The theme of the moment is brand or product integration. The cross-promotion process really comes down to asking ourselves what we have that might be valuable to the other party, and putting our arms around it."

There are few hard and fast rules behind product placement in films and, increasingly, television series. Financial arrangements vary from picture to picture, ranging from simple loans of signage to the actual transfer of large sums of money from one company to another. Digital television eventually will increase the options open to networks by creating a technological environment in which "virtual products" can be exchanged for others in repeat showings, and interactive devices can be used to order things shown on air.

Companies are leaving few stones unturned these days when it comes to licensing and cross-promotion deals.

"Everything's opening to licensing ... slot machines, shoes, soft drinks," Sale argues."Someone even wanted to do a sword based on Kill Bill. But, we took a pass on it."

- by Gary Dretzka

October 22, 2003