Gary Dretzka
Leonard Klady
David Poland
Ray Pride

Forgiven

I thought it was the best produced Oscar telecast I've ever seen…

Which makes it all the more painful that is was as boring, predictable and sure to be low rated as it was.

There were plenty of ideas in the new format that need to be tinkered with. We saw stagehands working far too often for this slick a show. And though he won the Oscar last year, there was no "floor package" playing under Tim Robbins when he came out to present. The failure of seat fillers to do their job when they were most needed will haunt both Gil Cates and Lou Horvitz for months to come. But I was fine with multiple placements for awards being given out… it did move the show along and we did get a more intimate experience with those nominees. Add a live shot of the nominees on stage between tape packages and better designed in-theater stations for presenters and all is well.

In fact, the film packages this year were, with the exception of the "In Memoriam" package, the best I have ever seen on the show. The opening package was exceptional. The nomination clips were well selected (except for Haden Church crying… with now seems to say everything about the whole campaign for him) and the two-images-of-the-nominee-into-video thing worked well for me.

Chris Rock was fine, but proved that the problem with him as host is not that he is too profane or too edgy, but that he can't get off the black thing even when it is played out and he is not enough of the community to mock the community with the magical combination of toughness and affection that was so well marked by Hope and Carson and was well done by Crystal & Villanch. I don't know the answer. David Letterman is on the wrong coast and Jay Leno has gotten too soft. Conan O'Brien's humor is too inside, self-mocking .. though I would love to see him do Clutch Cargo opening and have Triumph The Insult Comic Dog replace Billy Bush on the red carpet. I think trusting Robin Williams to keep it to a quick (since never dull) roar might be an answer. If Steve Martin were willing to commit to five straight years, he would become the greatest host ever.

What the show proved most of all is that you just can't replace star power with good television production. It just isn't the same thing. Chris Rock said it himself, "If you can only get ____ ____, wait." Of course, the Academy Awards cannot wait.

Ironically, the "kids" who Gil Cates seemed to be so anxious to have take over the Academy - or at least the face of it - were more timid that anything else. I counted five ad libs the entire night. Sean Penn defending Jude Law, Chris Rock not scoring in return, Salma Hayak going the extra mile for the dissed Argentinean singer/songwriter who ended up singing (as he always should have) his acceptance speech, Sean Combs' "So this is the Oscars" and Jeremy Irons putting Rock's joke in its place by being funnier than Rock at that moment. That was it! Not exactly rollicking… though Clint telling Tom Rosenberg to keep talking was a classic… even if Ms. Swank could not shut herself up. She obviously planned on "You're my mo cusha" as the knock out pull quote that everyone would be using on the news tomorrow… but it didn't quite play as well as she wanted it to as she fought to keep from being played off. She was a little too at home up there. (Morgan Freeman, however, was perfection… though the mike barely picked up his "Heavens to Mergatroid!" as he took the stage.

I also thought…

Salma almost cracking up as she watched her pal Penelope Cruz try to navigate some tongue-twisting English

Wondering whether Brad Bird got a presenter's gift bag for voicing Edna Mode's appearance.

Charlie Kaufman had it coming… big time! Not only was it the best script, but it was his best script. Yay!

The Pepsi Spartacus commercial was very clever. And whoever came up with the idea… Stanley Kubrick will see you when you die and make heaven seem like hell. My rule of thumb… if you don't think the artists would approve if alive, don't do it to them when they are dead.

Chris Rock joked about sending Cuba Gooding, Jr. $80 when he saw Boat Trip. I am writing a check for $160 to Billy Crudup so he can pass on the next round of Mastercard commercials (Oh, the agony of Stage Beauty not taking...)

Beyonce was 2 for 3 on the songs… but there is something simply wrong with having some of the associated talent and not other associated talent in that category. Either have all the original singers or not. But the diss (later corrected) of the Motorcycle Diaries singer and Minnie Driver (who couldn't have done much worse) and the unnecessary addition to the beauty of an all boys choir… why?

I couldn't be any happier for Zana Briski and Ross Kauffman. Great people, a great movie… and such grace, with the world and with one another.

As lovely as the score for Finding Neverland is, it is a shame that both Clint Eastwood and Howard Shore didn't make it in to the nominations. But as I listened to that score from The Incredibles play a few times, I was reminded just how much it kicks ass… and how it will take Michael Giacchino a few years to be "in the in crowd."

There were three pre-game shows this year. Consistently, the first stop was Ebert/Pennacchio, then E! with Star Jones and then, when they stopped, Joan & Melissa on the TV Guild Channel. (Leonardo DiCaprio went to the crowd and signed autographs before doing any TV) Congrats to Channel 7 and their show, which is now syndicated. Joan Rivers was more horrible looking than ever this year and her humor has passed desperate. It's time to let her face down and find another trick.

Oh… and the awards?

It was pretty much as expected. I was happy to see Bob Richardson, who is rivaled only by Chris Doyle as the top cinematographer working today (with apologies to many, from Kaminski to tonight's nominees and on and on), win the award. He deserved it more for Kill Bill, but the Kate Hepburn sequences that played on the show, where the golfing grass was nearly blue… the man is a funky genius. And his speech was beautiful.

How can one argue with Thelma Schoonmaker winning?

Thomas Haden Church and Virginia Madsen would have made me happy had they won, but the battle was fierce and they were under-armed. That said, Searchlight has a lot to be proud of in their effort for this film this year.

Overall… an okay night.

More on Thursday in the 20 Weeks wrap-up column.