..Gary Dretzka
..Noah Forrest
..Leonard Klady
..R.J. Matson
..David Poland
..Douglas Pratt
..Ray Pride
..Michael Wilmington

August 22, 2004

Entertainment Weekly
HEADLINE
Subhead
by Josh Wolk

When did the Academy ask you to host?
They've probably been calling me since '97. I had turned it down - it seemed like an older guy's gig, with a tuxedo and all, and I really liked doing the MTV Awards.This year, MTV did their awards in Miami, and something just seemed really young about it. Normally, there's, like, one person I don't know. But there might have been four people that I had no clue about. ''Who the hell's that guy? Is he a rapper? A singer?'' All these kids were screaming, and I was watching, thinking ''Hmm, I think I'm too old for this show.'' At that moment I had a tux made.

Did you learn anything from watching past hosts?
I never watched the Oscars. Except the Halle [Berry]/Denzel [Washington] year. But even then, I went back and forth to other channels. Come on, it's a fashion show. No one performs; it's not like a music show. What straight black man sits there and watches the Oscars? Show me one. And they don't recognize comedy, and you don't see a lot of black people nominated, so why should I watch it? Where's my in?

So I'll assume you don't care what people are wearing.
Nothing against people who aren't straight, but what straight guy that you know cares? Who gives a f---? They're clothes. I'm wearing Sean John, by the way. Help out the black designer, fine. Like Armani needs me to wear a f---ing tux to help them out.

What's your hosting strategy?
It's just basic hosting. It's like sports: You get a big lead, then you run out the clock. No one's really gonna remember some comedy set piece that you do two hours into the show. If you've got a production piece, you'd better do it up top. Once the show gets started, no one wants to stop it for comedy.

Did the producers ask you to take it easy on stars?
No. I agree to not curse and then I stay out of people's way. I don't call anybody, then I show up with a show. I'm a fastball pitcher, so I'm gonna be throwing fastballs. No time to fool around with what works now. You ever watch boxing? Whenever you hear about a guy, ''Oh, he's changing trainers - he's got a new style!'' that guy always gets knocked out. It never fails. You gotta do what you do.

So I take it there will be no big production numbers.
No singing for me. I don't soft-shoe. I got Ben Vereen on standby just in case.

Do you worry about going to the parties afterward and bumping into people you've made fun of?
I never went to the MTV Awards parties. 'Cause there's always two or three people I've really pissed off.... I'm gonna gig after the show. Hey, what would Prince do? He'd gig. You have different idols. I have comedy idols and movie idols, but who's my performance idol? Prince. When the show's over, I'm probably gonna go to a club and get on stage. And rip! With all of this s---.

Are you rooting for anyone?
Awards for art are f---ing idiotic. Unless two people are doing the exact same thing, how can you really say somebody's better than the other? If Jamie Foxx is doing Ray and Clint Eastwood's doing Ray, then you can kind of judge the two. But I root for people in the sense that some awards will help people's careers more than others. I know if Jamie Foxx or Don Cheadle wins, it's gonna help out their careers. There will be an absolute change in their lives if they win. Whereas if Johnny Depp wins, it's like, Yeah? He's got an award, but he's always gonna make the same money; he's always gonna get the best offers and work with the best people. If Leo DiCaprio wins, who gives a f---? It's like, Oh, now he's gonna get 20 million and one dollars?

Will you see all the nominated movies?
Yeah. I did a trifecta the other day of Closer, Life Aquatic, and Alexander. Alexander was a waste of Oscar day. You walk out and go, ''I didn't need to see that for the Oscars.''... But the big choice is, Are you working the room or TV? I'm working the TV audience. So just because a movie hasn't been nominated [doesn't mean I won't talk about it]. Like any year, the best movies aren't nominated. What the f--- is better than The Bourne Supremacy and Spider-Man 2? Most Americans would say they were the best movies of the year. An overwhelming majority would take either of them over Finding Neverland.

Let's talk about your take on movies. Do you think they're better or worse than they used to be?
Definitely worse. Studios used to make visions. When a director has control, what you're seeing on the screen is a vision. Now what you see is a consensus. There's a big difference. Sideways is a vision. The Day After Tomorrow is a consensus. It's 30 people agreeing.

What was the first movie you saw more than once?
It might be Purple Rain. I probably saw Airplane! multiple times. I remember seeing Beverly Hills Cop three times in one day. Never leaving. Me and my friend Fred Barton sitting in the theater, Eddie Murphy addicts. Remember when Eddie Murphy's face would come up in a trailer for a movie, and the whole audience would lose their minds? Three straight shows. The plan was two. It kept me a third. [Laughs] And I ended up being in Cop II, so there you go.

Was he your acting idol?
Eddie Murphy was the coolest guy on the screen. I liked Belushi and those guys, Bill Murray. But Murphy was for me. He was, like, the first black guy that I can remember who was cool. I can't remember going to see a movie with black people in it before him. I barely remember my parents taking us to see Sounder and Let's Do It Again.

What about Richard Pryor's movies?
Richard was kind of scared in every movie: ''Oh, what'm I gon' do?'' Ed was just cool, man. He was like Shaft with jokes.

What was the dirtiest non-porn movie you saw as a kid?
Probably Foxy Brown or Superfly. Klute was the closest I got to porn. I remember my brother taking us to [Woody Allen's] Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex But Were Afraid to Ask. We weren't having sex then, so it was actually confusing. It was like, ''Huh? He's kissing a sheep? What's going on here?''

What movie do you love that most other people hate?
Mars Attacks! Love it! Can't get enough of it. Every time I bump into Tim Burton, which is probably once every two years, I tell him I love Mars Attacks!, and he always looks at me kind of weird, like he thinks I'm making fun of him. But he doesn't realize I really love the movie! Jim Brown punching people in the face. The little aliens, just the way they walk. F---ing great, man.

And what movie do you hate that everyone else loves?
When I don't get something, I just say it wasn't meant for me. I don't think they have me in mind when they're making some of these movies. No one was thinking about me when they were making Cold Mountain.

What actor will you see in any movie that they're in?
I'll see Denzel Washington in anything. Probably Johnny Depp. And my new thing after seeing Alexander is that only Russell Crowe should be in period pieces. Even if the movie's about something that happened three weeks ago, they should hire Russell Crowe. He's just better than everybody.

Who's the funniest actor you've ever met?
Tom Hanks is one of the funniest guys I've ever seen. When he was [prepping to play a comedian in the 1988 film] Punchline, I was a young comic. I got to watch this guy start with no act. He wrote it with [comedian] Barry Sobel, and in three weeks, he was better than everybody. [Better than] Jerry [Seinfeld], too. I feel sorry for Tom, in a sense. If he'd have grown up with less education, he'd be the greatest comedian who ever lived. The acting people got to him early. I can't get jealous of people who are better than me. Hey, bravo! If they did a movie right now, The Chris Rock Story, they should cast Tom Hanks - he's that good. You don't want me, you want Tom Hanks.

(Posted:01/31/05)