December
15, 2003
GOLDEN
GLOBES TV EXPOSE:
TRIO NETWORK'S DIRTY LITTLE SECRET
The Let's-Bash-the-Globes-for-Fun
TV Special Revealed a REAL Shockeroo: Universal Television's Entertainment
Cable Network Knows Little About Entertainment Awards
By Tom O'Neil
Author, "Movie Awards," "The Emmys," "The Grammys"
(Penguin Putnam books)
Host, GoldDerby.com, the #1 award-predictions website
Senior Editor, In Touch Weekly
Beating up on the Golden Globes is a favorite sport in Hollywood --
particularly among American media snobs who can't resist taking a punch
at a ragtag gang of foreign journalists who created something amazing:
TV's second-highest awards show, which really informs the top-ranked
one. Over the past 60 years, the Oscars have rubber-stamped a Best Picture
choice of the Globes 44 times. At least a dozen films -- from "An
American in Paris" to "Shakespeare in Love" -- would
not have won the top Academy Award without a bump from the Globes. In
more recent years, about two-thirds of Oscar's Best Actors and Actresses
were snatched from the Globes' ranks.
But the Globes aren't
equal to the Oscars, media bullies insist, because the history of the
Globes' parent group, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, is haunted
by scandals and goofs that are constantly held up for ridicule by the
ruling Yankees of showbiz. Trio network couldn't resist joining the
mob and debuted a much-ballyhooed TV special -- "The Golden Globes:
Hollywood's Dirty Little Secret" -- that was as journalistically
irresponsible as Trio accused the Globes of being.
The TV special was
clearly out for blood, pummeling the Globes as "a joke" and
"a scam" run by "idiots" and showbiz "bottom
feeders" "who are getting away with murder." The assertions
came from such experts as John Powers, a writer for L.A. Weekly, who
belongs to the Los Angeles Film Critics Association, which has failed
woefully in the past to pull of what the Globes have done so spectacularly.
In the early 1980s, TV producer Merv Griffin gave them the L.A. critics
their big chance at their own awards telecast, but the show was so bad
that it was quickly booted off the air. Another expert was Sharon Waxman,
who's mounted a scorch-and-burn campaign against the Globes for years
in the pages of the Washington Post. Also featured prominently was Danish
journalist Jeannie Mortensen, who doesn't belong to the HFPA, but producers
used her to reveal what cushy perks journalists get while covering the
showbiz beat -- including fake-smile photos with celebs -- but TV viewers
are left wondering: If other journalists accept those perks, what's
wrong with HFPA members getting them?
HFPA leaders refused
to be interviewed, which the TV special ballyhooed as proof that its
scandalous claims must be true. But officials knew what was coming --
that's how automatic Globe-bashing is. For eons, for example, the HFPA
has been lambasted for admitting members who are part-time journalists
who must only submit four newspaper or magazine clippings per year to
demonstrate that they're still active in journalism. But exposes written
about the Globes never mention that Oscar voters don't have to bother
proving that they're still active in the industry at all -- indeed,
many of them haven't made a flicker since "Birth of a Nation."
The L.A. Times's Jack Mathews once griped that membership requirements
of the L.A. film critics group "are only slightly tighter than
those for the Hertz No. 1 Club" -- at least one member was a marketer
who'd never even written about film -- but Globe bashers never mention
what the membership standards are at equivalent Yankee groups. Only
two years ago did the LAFCA finally adopt the same minimum standard
maintained by the HFPA -- those four article clippings per year.
The Trio TV special
notes that many years ago the Globes gave awards to stars if they'd
show up to accept them, but, strangely, the program then showed clip
after clip of absent winners whose statuettes were claimed by stand-in
stars at past ceremonies. It's true that the Globes WERE guilty of that
practice sometimes, but the L.A. and N.Y. film critics are guilty of
it today, at least with honorary awards. They've also been caught doing
the same thing with competitive awards throughout their histories. When
"The Great Dictator" star Charlie Chaplin heard that the N.Y.
film critics wanted to give him their Best Actor award in 1941 because
they heard he was in town at the Waldorf-Astoria and would be "a
swell free attraction for us," according to a New York Times writer,
Chaplin snubbed their ceremony and sent a page boy with an insulting
message.
The Globes are certainly
guilty of a few doozies, though, including that notorious Pia Zadora
gaffe, but the Trio TV special only chose to cover the damning side
of that story. It didn't bother to mention what a serious shooting star
Zadora really was in 1981. Playboy called her "Zadorable"
and Variety gave her a better review in her debut film, "Butterfly,"
than costars Orson Welles and Stacy Keach (she "registers well
with her little girl looks and Lolita sensuality," Variety gushed).
Her music album was zooming up the charts back then, cheered on even
by Leonard Feather, the notoriously cranky music critic of the L.A.
Times, who insisted, "She has it all -- the range, the expert intonation."
Zadora's singing talents were so impressive that her tycoon sugar daddy,
Mashulem Riklis, flew members of the HFPA to Las Vegas to see her perform
live at his casino. No doubt that personal touch helped her to win,
but face-to-face wooing has a long, noble history in awards lore, dating
back to the second Oscar year when Mary Pickford lobbied voters to give
her their Best Actress award in 1929 so she could claim that she'd successfully
made the crossover to talkies despite receiving vicious reviews for
"Coquette." She invited voters to Pickfair -- the estate she
shared with hubby Doug Fairbanks, president of the Oscar's film academy
-- where she served tea to them
and no doubt purred coquettishly.
She won.
The Oscars somehow
manage to transcend their scandals, however, and still manage to maintain
their sacred luster as Hollywood's Holy Grail. But how can that be?
What justice is there, really, in a world where Goldie Hawn has an Oscar,
but Richard Burton went to his grave as the award's biggest loser?
Hollywood's other
top kudos are no better, frankly. The Beatles and Elvis Presley never
won Grammy's award for Record of the Year, but the Fifth Dimension won
TWICE. Television's "Great One," Jackie Gleason, never won
an Emmy and the costar of TV's greatest series - "I Love Lucy"
- was never even nominated.
The reason for the
latter snub is probably what's behind the Globes-bashing, too. Desi
Arnaz was a foreigner, a Cuban band star lost and unloved in white-bread
Hollywood where he ultimately succeeded only because he produced his
own TV show and created his own film and TV studio.
That's what members
of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association have done with the Golden
Globes, a roster of winners so impressive the Oscar voters swipe them
freely. But, in response, alas, most American media can only respond
with swipes.
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NOTE: These views
are those of Tom O'Neil ONLY and do NOT necessarily reflect other journalists
who contribute to GoldDerby.com