..Gary Dretzka
..Noah Forrest
..Leonard Klady
..R.J. Matson
..David Poland
..Douglas Pratt
..Ray Pride
..Michael Wilmington

April 10, 2003

E-Mail Satire
___________________________________

MOHAMMED SAEED AL-SAHHAF
NAMED MIRAMAX FILMS INFORMATION
MINISTER
___________________________________

Baghdad, Iraq...Miramax cochairman Harvey Weinstein named former Iraq
Information Minister Mohammed Saeed Al-Sahhaf to the new position
of Miramax Films Information Minister, it was announced this afternoon at
a press conference over the sound of small arms fire outside Baghdad's
Palestine Hotel. The William Morris Agency represented Al-Sahhaf.

"I am pleased to bring Mohammed's skills to Miramax," Harvey Weinstein
said via videophone. "I've been watching him and I am honored that he's
joining our company."

Al-Sahhaf, who will be based in Miramax's new Baghdad office, got off to a
quick start declaring, "The Academy Awards were blocked by the
international gang of criminal bastards DreamWorks and Focus." When
asked to elaborate, he added, "Marty Scorsese and Daniel Lewis won the
Oscars, not the infidels Polanski and Brody. God is grilling their golden
statuettes in hell."

Al-Sahhaf, 63, was the Iraq Information Minister since 2001. Before that, he
was Iraqi Foreign Minister from eight years.

Referring to the recently released Gwyneth Paltrow film A View From The Top,
Al-Sahhaf said as an artillery shell landed only yards away, "[The box office
grosses] are all wrong. We blocked the film inside theaters. The movie is
grossing $25 million dollars a day and is now more than $250 billion.. You
can go see for yourself." He blamed the deflated box office reporting on, "...the
infidels Bush, Katzenberg and Colin Farrell."

Al-Sahhaf said that Chicago, the winner of Best Picture at the Academy Awards,
in fact, ..."won more than 247 Oscars." He proclaimed, "Next year we will tackle
and destroy the AMPAS. We will make the many, many members of Academy
drink poison and teach them a lesson that history will never forget with Cold
Mountain, The Human Stain and My Baby's Mama."

Before ducking back inside the hotel, Al-Sahhaf declared, "Praised be Miramax.
Praised be Weinstein."

In 1963 Al-Sahhaf got his start in politics when he joined former Iraq President
Saddam Hussein in an uprising that targeted opponents of the Baath party.
Following his entrance into the Baath party, Al-Sahhaf ran Iraqi state radio and
television. He was also Iraq's Ambassador to India, Italy and the United
Nations.

Note: This came from an e-mail that's floating around the web and not from
anyone at MCN... really... we swear... no kidding... it wasn't us... it's funny, but it wasn't us...